February 12, 2008


If you'd asked me last week, "Jenny?" "WHAT! Goddammit, can't you see I'm busy?"
"I'm sorry! God..."
"Sigh... No, I'm sorry, what is it?"
"No. If you're SO busy..."
"No, really, I'm sorry, I've just had a rough week and- I guess I just snapped."
"It's okay. I understand."
"Yes, it's fine."
"Okay, good. Hug?"
"Okay, so what can I help you with?"
"Jenny, do you think you'll ever finish that vest you were knitting with Crystal?"

I'd have responded with, "Pssshhh, prolly not, to be honest. I'm not that excited about it, and it's kind of annoying. I don't even think I'll like it when it's done."

But then Crystal happened to come over this weekend, and she happened to bring her Boogie vest that we started together, so I couldn't help but pick it up again, and next thing you know, BOOM! FO!!!

I actually don't even hate this thing on me. I might even wear it tomorrow. I've never been a vest girl, well... except for this brief phase in 7th grade when I would wear one of my dad's conservative knit vests with one of his crazy crazy ties, loosely tied with a white shirt, sleeves rolled up, in some bizarre interpretation of feminist protest against all the hip hop boiiiiii's in my school. I remember, also that year, I wore a pair of olive green Chuck Taylors with an OD tshirt and a corderoy jacket, dubbed by my friend and I "The Eddie Vedder Jacket" and one of the class meatheads asked me in all earnestness and without a hint of mockery, "So, like, are you making a fashion statement or something?" He just couldn't understand why I was wearing ratty old jeans instead of tight-rolled Z Cavs. This kid also, one year prior, upon hearing that I had a black friend asked me, again in all earnestness, "You have a black friend? Really? (he was totally jealous) So, is she like, Preppy Black? Or Ghetto Black?" And those were the only two options. Welcome to Pelham, NH! Yeah... I heard that kid got hotcupped sometime in high school, and nobody really heard much from him after that...

Sorry, whew! Anyway! So I think we were at I've never been a vest girl, but this vest I kinda like. It's cozy, that's for sure. For details on yarn and pattern, check out my Rav Page.

So, lets move on to my First Ever Contest!!!

Well, I really loved reading the dozens and DOZENS of suggestions for what to do with my Identity Thief from all my wonderful posters (someday I really pray I'll get to meet you all in person... I think that will be a wonderful day, a day full of love and light and hope for a peaceful future) however I was particularly taken with one suggestion in particular, given by Miss Sarah.

"I suggest sending them some serious hardcore gay porn or sign them up for extremely fundamentalist religion literature."

Um, OKAY! :D

So here's the plan, kids. TONS of Bill-Me-Later magazine subscriptions, membership in NAMBLA (The North American Man Boy Love Association) and empty envelopes sent from all the places around the world where I have friends who will simply drop an addressed, stamped envelope into the mail for me, about one a month for many, many months. Plus I'm going to call the Winnipeg police department.

So Sarah gets some sock yarn, which I will happily and lovingly dye especially for her while thoughts of passive aggressive vengeance flitter through my mind, but she won't get it until next Wednesday. :)


Macoco said...

Whoah, nice vest sista! I love all that cabling action! :) It looks great on you too.

I've always wanted to be a vest person, but I just haven't found the special vest that actually looks good on me.

However, I did wear suspenders in jr high. Suspenders with musical notes on them. Because I was COOL!

Sarah said...

Thank you again for the yarn! I may have to knit socks. Iced coffee nearly went up my nose from laughing when you mentioned the boy who was hotcupped in high school. I hope he sought help. And I did men's suit vests with red high top Chuck Taylors.

Ariel said...

Love that vest - it really does look great on you!

I did the menswear thing, too. Though I, being of a certain age, and living in the Pacific Northwest, rocked my vest with a white t-shirt, ripped Levi's and black boots. Because us grunge kids could kick those Chuck-wearing kids' asses.

Susanna said...

excellent use of the term "hotcupped"- i like how you left it somewhat vague and up to the reader to interpret . . .

Quirkles said...

Damn. I'm going to have to look up "hotcupped." I'm so not cool. I'm excited though to learn a new potentially dirty word! The vest is awesome! I'm embarrassed to say I didn't even know you were working on it! I'll pay more attention at SnB from now on now that the cursed socks are behind me!